I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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