Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
