You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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