Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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