awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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