My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize