i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this beer tastes like vomit already
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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