You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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