i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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