that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
