My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
