she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I believe in your delicious
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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