I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
