Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
