well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
