we have pet lesbian snakes
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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