i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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