ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
