YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize