you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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