Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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