And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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