you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
