yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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