Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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