Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
