Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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