my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.