my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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