I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
