awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
