Yo dont text me then not text me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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