So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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