i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
