And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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