K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
