I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
