I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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