I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
