i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They have beer where we have blood.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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