okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
