Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
