I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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