i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
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i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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