need another drink. this is the easiest way
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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