No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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