i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
