Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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