I wanna bring you to show and tell
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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