You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize