"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize