i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
