i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize