Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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