Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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