So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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