stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
