Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
