On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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