idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
