from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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