I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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