Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
