He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize