Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
