I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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