i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
