so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
